Miss Independent...and Angry?

They're going to hate me for this one...

Let's play a game. I'll say a word or phrase and then I'll follow it with connotations that the word or phrase has attached to it.

Alright...black women.

Angry
Independent
Hostile
Motivated
Belligerent
Ambitious
Bitter
Successful
Contentious

Starting to see a pattern? I know that I have been.
Now before you start writing your comments on how I am generalizing, just know that for the sake of time and my sanity I am not going to attempt to point out every exception to this claim. But I am quite aware that there are many black women who are not angry, hostile, etc. But over the years I have noticed that many black women are quick to enforce their independence by attempting to either keep others in check or speak their mind, regardless of the situation.

Establishing a position of being the H.B.I.C. is not attractive in the least. And I know a lot of girls are probably thinking...well, attraction is not the main goal of my assertiveness. The main goal is for people to know that I can handle my own and I am not the one to be F'ed with. Well, that is all great and wonderful that you are aware of yourself and wish to be placed on an equal playing field, but there is a way to go about that without seeming like you are going to "pick the world up, and then drop it on [my] fucking head".

Black women seem to have this underlying anger that rears its ugly head at times when anger is not justified. For example, if a lady at the airport accidently rolls over your foot with a suitcase, there is no need for you to go off and her(and risk getting arrested). It could be that it was a simple accident and not a case of being "disrespected". True example.

Another example I have yet to understand but also moves toward another topic all together is the issue of black men and black women. On the dating side of things that is. If one guy messes up, or turns out not to be the right one for you, women have the tendencies to hold much deeper grudges than members of any other race(from what I can tell). One guy ruins it for the next 10 guys that try to talk to you and any one of those guys could have been your future husband, but just for the fact that you let one guy get inside your head.

There is a difference between being cautious about relationships from that point and being hostile from that point out. I believe that is the main point I am trying to make on that issue. But black women have a tendency to become hostile after experiencing a bad relationship instead of more aware. It is possible to be introverted around a person you don't trust without coming off as being rude. And yeah, I speak from personal experience on that one.

So, ladies, don't take this note the wrong way. This was not written to take a stab at anyone, but more so just to state observations that have built up over the years. I'm going to have to start putting disclaimers on all my notes...its a shame.

Alright, now to go lose what remains of my brain power in Critical Theory and Criticism. I guess this was just a warm up.

-JTate

A Collection...Just the Beginning

Another Brotha My Type

Ya'll will never see another brotha my type. So when I'm gone, I hope you remember me right. T.I. has never spoken truer words. I'm a different kinda guy. I've finally come to terms with that. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't like saying nigga, I hate when people use the term in public on a regular basis, I can't rap, I'm not an amazing dancer, I don't play football, basketball, or any other of the "black" sports. I don't like to curse(even though it may seem like it), I don't like fried chicken, and I don't sag my pants to my knees. I don't need forty other guys to follow me around everywhere, I don't always dress urban, and I don't only listen to rap music. I don't try to sleep with every girl I meet. I'm not a emotionless sex machine. I don't treat girls like crap. I'm a gentleman, I like having someone by my side, and I hurt just like any other human being. I hate to see or hear about guys mistreating girls, I think that guys have a bad reputation right now, but I am going to prove people wrong.I like to swim, I've been discriminated against, and I will never stop swimming. I get along with all races, I don't care what color you are, if you are my friend then you have gained my trust and loyalty.I like to learn, I like to understand, and I like to read. I don't like closed-minded people, I'm pretty liberal, and religion is still a mystery to me. One of my best swimming friends died in a car accident, my mom has stage 3 ovarian cancer, but yet I still move on.I'm well-liked in the swimming community, my mom inspires me, and my parents are still together. I like to love, but I don't love often. I don't like those who are not truthful, once you lose my trust it will never fully be regained. This is me. This is how I am. I'm one of a kind. Not a stereotype you see on BET or MTV. I'm not another "nigga". I refuse to be classified in that way. If you refer to me in that way, then you lose part of my respect even though I may not show it. Don't mistake my sensitivity or understanding for weakness. Its actually one of my strengths and is why I am well-respected. You have just had a look inside my thought process.I just hope you remember me right.


**This post was from Facebook from a couple weeks back. This will be my opening post.**

Welcome to the Big Leagues?

So, I finally decided to separate Facebook from my thoughts. These are my thoughts and purely my thoughts. You can agree or you can disagree. You can feel offended or you can nod your head slowly and think, "I understand now". Let me know what you think of what I write regardless of what your standpoint is. I am just expressing myself and wishing to learn how others feel.

-JT